BROOKS: Can we get a movie tonight?
US: Sure. Pick one out on Redbox.
CHUCK (to me): Do you want to get one too?
(Audience pauses, purses lips and nods, as if to say, "Ummm-hmmm....SHE'S the decisive one.)
CHUCK: How about "How Do You Know?" with Reese Witherspoon & Owen Wilson?
ME: Oooh, yes! I love them both! And Jack Nicholson. Get it.
(Audience shakes head because they know where this is going.)
CHUCK: There's also "Due Date". I was really thinking we would get that. With Robert Downey, Jr. and Zack Galifianakis.
ME: No. "How Do You Know?" Get it. I want to see that.
CHUCK: Well, I think this would be funny. You know, the same guy that was in "The Hangover" is in it.
ME: I thought we decided. I mean I decided because you asked me a "yes or no" question. If we're going to debate, we could get "The Switch" with Jennifer Aniston because you love her.
CHUCK: Yeahhhh (sucks air through his teeth to emphasize indecision), with Jason Bateman??? I don't know???? He's.....
ME: Reese & Owen are wonderful. Get "How Do I Know?"
(Audience begins to sense a pattern here....)
CHUCK: There's also that Russell Crowe movie.
ME: For the love of God, reserve "How Do I Know?"!!!!
CHUCK (clicks to reserve movie): Awww, hun, looks like someone beat us to it.....
ME: Really??? You're surprised at that???
All I'm saying is that people who can make decisions will someday rule the world. Do you want on my bus or his?
(Update: I hope you chose my bus, because clearly the Gods show me favor. Someone returned "How Do I Know?" before he got there. So, as usual, I got my way. That's also called "being rewarded for making a decision".)