Every stinkin' year, I say, "We're going to save enough that we can take a mini-vacation right before school starts." Sort of a last-ditch effort to stave off the end-of-summer blues. Then we download the school supply list and I realize that instead of paying for hotel rooms, breakfasts at IHOP, & amusement park admissions, I will be purchasing 45 glue sticks, 350 markers, 11 pair of scissors & a $150 calculator, not to mention haircuts, shoes & the ever-necessary new backpack. I could begin photographing weddings again & work all of it in financially but then I would sacrifice my sanity, so the "August mini-vacation" remains an elusive dream. Someday, folks. Someday. I can almost hear your sobs....
Speaking of school, registration is today. School registration is one of my pet peeves. First of all, I think we're all adults here & a simple "fill this out IF you have not moved or had any major life changes IN THE LAST TWO AND A HALF MONTHS, for God's sake!" would do. Seriously, folks, is it necessary to have to go fill out the same paperwork EVERY SINGLE YEAR??? Listen: My doctors have not changed. My dentist has not changed. My hospital of preference, should my child become mangled in music class, has not changed. My address has not changed SINCE 1997! My marital status has not changed. My emergency contact has not changed. Get it??? Can't I just call up there and say, "Yo, the Buttry's are comin' back. Check the box."?
But if we didn't check in, we couldn't purchase t-shirts or yearbooks or planners or hoodies or PTA memberships or all the other stuff that causes Chuck to look in the checkbook every year & say, "Our kids ARE in public school, aren't they? I thought that was free." And when would we get our gift wrap packets to raise money for the school? Now, I sell the gift wrap each year & my kids get to ride in the limo & I completely understand that we need money to plant flowers and put in playground equipment & pay for an art teacher & a Spanish teacher. I'm GOOD WITH THAT. But last year, when the children came home with packets to SELL FREAKING COFFEE after we had sold gift wrap and raised money for this charity and that & had the fall fling fundraiser & were preparing for the Jubilee fundraiser, I nearly hit the roof. No, my dear children, no matter what two-dollar-plastic-or-stuffed-piece-of-crap you are going to win for selling this, I am not going to hit up the friends & relatives again. Actually, I'm shocked that they haven't ridden us out of town on a rail already! I'm convinced that when my Dad kicks the bucket, his inheritance to me is going to be 1850 rolls of giftwrap purchased just so his grandkids could ride in a limousine. Maybe I can sell it on e-bay and take that August mini-vacation??
So I'll end this bitchy epistle by stating the the only joy of the end of summer is seeing their little backs (with new backpacks!) walking up Waverly to their school & knowing that if we can just get through the next 9 months, at least the July mega-vacation awaits!